Sunday, July 13, 2008 ; 5:25 PMY
............................
An Issue of Weight. Being Insulted. Accused of being Petty. and the Right to be Angry about it.
I know no one is perfect. but its so amazing how different people can make u feel so differently.
You really hurt me alot. and undeniably, you were definitely a jerk when i was with you. But one thing i always was and still am happy about you, is that you never ever made me feel lousy about my size. I absolutely loved dressing up for you. I was comfortable with my body when im with you. and regardless of whether you really meant it, you always made me feel that you would love me even if i were to put on abit of weight or to have a rounder tummy. Infact, i dont even recall a single time when weight was even an issue.
Weight should definitely not be the main issue here. But for me, its a big issue. Its the first time im even blogging anyth like this..coz its a fact that weight and size is and always has been a very sensitive topic for me. It may perhaps not be an exaggeration that the main bulk of my insecurities stem from there. Its just that ive always been hiding it and things got better as we grow up so it doesnt bother me. (except on days like this when u unfortunately encounter fucking idiots who got nothing else better to do than defame and insult innocent victims that they dont even know)
Yes im usually ok with the way i am.(minus the few days of pms)
And yes, i know i can look good too. I mean, i know im not fat til there's nothing for me to wear. I can still shop for nice clothes and dress up and make myself pretty. And im always thrilled when topshop is having sales. Coz then most of the clothes leftover would mostly be my size. So its so much easier to pick out, and best of all, its on Sale! ;)
But, as much as i can accept myself for the way i look, there will always be others out there who very casually and insensitively make 'casual remarks' about my size and sickeningly try to derive some fun out of it. These kinda bastards. I TOTALLY HATE AND DESPISE.
Its my sincere wish that these rude bastards may one day, get married and divorce their wives after they put on post-pregnancy weight, have really wonderfully rude and fat kids, grow a humongous potbelly from drinking excessively at clubs, gamble n lose all their money playing poker obsessively, and finally, die a sad and obese death.
(ok i dont know how's that possible, but heck. Im just cursing afterall.)
And for those others, who stubbornly and insensitively think im just being petty about hating these kinda people....well GO AHEAD. I admit. Im being petty for hating pple who made rude 'casual remarks' about me when i dont even know them.
And i shouldnt give a damn about you too, for not defending me and faithfully standing on my side.
