Wednesday, November 22, 2006 ; 2:05 AMY
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Its so hard waiting for something you really really want.
Be it somebody, just a call, or even just a msg...drives u mad just thinking about it and waiting...waiting..waiting...
Whole day just waiting for the phone to ring..to the extent i even imagined hearing the phone ring several times throughout the day..only the find out that it was just an illusion. A picture and sound painted and played over and over so many times in my head til it jumped out and created those sweet deceptive moments.
Didnt know u can actually long and crave for something so much it gives you a headache the whole day.
Waiting can be such a painful process. Yet there's really nothing much i can do except to continue waiting and hope it comes.
Sunday, November 12, 2006 ; 5:31 PMY
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Rakhee is finally back!!! Aimei, joanne and me went to pick her up last night then we went for prata near rak's place. FAT FAT FAT..i planned to go gym more this week but seems like everyday is packed for this week. Hmm, definitely must squeeze in time to go even if it means waking up early at 7am!!
Culture essay was due 2days ago on friday, but i was so sian i decided to give myself a break. In the end, went out with christine and dom to watch movie and have dinner. Then after that drove to changi to look at those transvestites again. We actually waited for one of them to get picked up by a customer then we followed their car. But in the end they drove to some really deserted corner and they just disappeared!! Nola, they didnt. But it was too dark and they turned off their headlights so we couldnt spot their exact location. And since there were only 2 of us in the car, we decided that it would be dangerous to try to drive near them. So bobian we drove off lo. Sigh. Thought could see some actions..
Hmm, how bout next time we go in a bigger group? then can do more exploration man! Safety in numbers somemore. Want?? Haha..interested parties pls drop a msg here huh then i plan k? hehe...
Hmm, last day of exam tmr, then choir assessment on tue..then holiday will officially start. And guess wad?? Tmr is my birthday!! Yesyes..im turning 22. I dont really feel that old la..but really, 22 sounds pretty old right? So far away from my teens. Sigh. Then soon i'll be celebrating my 30th birthday. Really hope that by that age, i would be celebrating with my own family-my hubby and perhaps a couple of kids..*grinz*
K la..better go do my essay now..2500 words!!!!! sigh...
Sunday, November 05, 2006 ; 8:51 PMY
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Was doing those stupid lunchtime concert reviews the whole afternoon. Almost done now but later still gotta do concert prac reviews..REVIEWS REVIEWS AND MORE REVIEWS. Fuck man. Can't imagine i gotta go thru this each and every semester...and i have like, 3 more semesters to go??
I know its possible to finish all those damn reviews in one day and still have time to practise and do other things..but im so fucking distracted now. So many things on my mind right now. I feel so ignored, so unwanted. Well, actually no. Im not really unwanted. Im just wanted for all the wrong reasons. Is that worse than not being wanted at all?? Or am i just being too demanding?
The whole day im just waiting for my phone to ring, only to get myself disappointed time and time again. When i go online, its the same thing. Hopelessly hoping and waiting. Makes me wonder why i even bother. Maybe i should just stop going on msn and turn off the bloody phone.
