*** Loving candies but unloving me ***

Tuesday, August 28, 2007 ; 1:57 PMY

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Im feeling so sad now...Seems like so many things are happening all at the same time and i just cant contain it anymore. Slept from 11pm last night to 12.30pm this afternoon but im still tired. Probably coz i woke up so many times in the night thinking about things ..mainly about him. Im sick too. Bern must have passed his germs to me. Im now coughing, having a bad sorethroat, headache and running nose.

Just had a huge quarrel with my mum just now. Cant rmb when was the last time we had such a heated quarrel..coz usually she'd be working whole day n i hardly see her. But she's taken leave from work for a few days to train the new maid. So now that she's "free", she decided to pack the house..which includes throwing everything in her way that she thinks she doesnt need but in actual fact doesnt even belong to her..She doesnt care who it belongs to or whether we even need it or not. She just THROW. Tried explaining to her so many times that she needs to have respect for other people and their belongings..but it doesnt work.
Afew days ago, she threw away a few pairs of my shoes which i've always been wearing, but she insisted that she has tried them on and they cant be worn anymore anymore..But hey, they are MY shoes bought with MY OWN money. I think i know better whether to get rid of them or not right? Its fine if she throws things away and gives me money to buy new ones..but NOP, i've been financially independant since Alevels and she always tries to stop my dad from giving my money coz she always have some fucked up idea that i earn alot teaching music. But HELLO! Im a fulltime student teaching music in my spare time ok? How much can i earn?!

After the 1st quarrel and after thinking i've finally gotten my point across to her, i came back to my room to see her throwing away MORE of MY things. Wah. That really flared me up. I dont like to use vulgarities but just now, i think i used all that i know on her. I know its rude and all that la, but seriously, that was all i could do to stop myself from giving her a tight slap across the face. At the end, when she knows she cant win me in this argument, she said her favorite lines again...here they are:
1) This is my house! So i got every right to throw anything in this house. (Well, actually the house belongs to my dad..and they're divorced now. So strictly speaking, the house really doesnt belong to her now.)
2) Just wait. You're so rude to me you'll surely get your punishment. ( She used to use God, the Bible and the church to threaten me as well in the past but she has stopped going to church) =P
3) Im going to make a police report now. (hahahahaha....)

Sigh feel slightly better now..but my throat is feeling worse now from all those shouting and screaming. Damn that bitch.
Gotta hand in thesis proposal tmr and i've got some ideas but still not sure which to choose..sigh...Starting to regret continuing with level 3 now. Im already starting to feel the stress and with my emotional state now, im sure my studies would be affected somehow.

Alrighty, too late for any regrets now anyway..gotta start doing some research now. ta!