Friday, July 28, 2006 ; 10:49 PMY
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Can't rmb if i mentioned it here. But anyway, i dreamt a few days ago that tony is attached again. Guess what? I found out last night that it's true. He just got himself a new gf...and this girl is someone from my class. Coincidentally, our names our quite similar. Im candy...she is cady. haha.
Sorry dear friends, to make you guys worried about me all the time. Im trying to be strong. I really really am. But just when i thought i still need more time getting used to seeing him in school, now i realised i also need to get used to seeing the both of them in school. One word: PAIN.
Well, but don't worry. This isnt as bad as when we first broke up. If i survived that, i think i can survive this too..though at times i really feel on the verge of losing it. Im trying not to think about it la but come on, how not to when these 2 pple are my classmates and i gotta see them around all the time! I feel so torn, so used and so worthless. I know im not, but that's really what im feeling now.
That one month after the breakup was so bad i don't want to ever go through it again. I was just lying in bed the entire day crying and trembling away. And now im so scared i have to go through that horrible stage again. The constant crying and depression. Gosh. Im scared to the point im trembling again now. It really amazes me you know, the effect this useless guy has over me. Why can't i just ignore them both? I really can't accept the fact that he can like someone else so soon while im here suffering. Its so unfair. And of all pple, why choose to be with someone from the same class???
Wahhhh....shit man. Im feeling so terrible now yet i can't do anything about it. But no matter what, i will try my best to be strong. I will carry on with my life as happily as i can. Hopefully, this feeling will soon pass. Perhaps in another month's time, i would feel nothing seeing them together. Right now,i just need to stop thinking so much. Couldnt sleep the whole of last night again. Keep waking up many times in the night and each time i would start thinking about it and start crying. Im really starting to look like a goldfish lo. So ugly how to attract cute guys right? haha.
