Thursday, June 01, 2006 ; 1:48 PMY
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Im seriously starting to think that there's somthing very wrong with my personality, my character, my behaviour and speech. All along i know im quite open when talking about certain issues like sex n stuff, even to guys. I just didn't that it's actually considered "talking dirty" and thus making myself seem loose. But i don't talk like that to each and every guy i know. I only talk like that to guys whom i think (or thought) can take jokes. Maybe he's right.Maybe this is the reason why i never seem to be able to find a guy whom i like and who likes me. Apparently, i turn guys off too much with all those "dirty talk". Oh dammit la..maybe i should just keep my mouth shut from now onwards. Im so confused. Coz i've only been single 2 months and now im giving myself more guy problems to worry about. What started out as pure fun and harmless flirting on my part has turned out, yet again, to be a more serious and complicated matter. I don't think, or rather, i don't want to think im a bitch. But maybe, through my actions, i've already proven myself to be one. After all, so far in my life, most of the guy i've talked to on the phone have commented that when they talk to me, they don't really feel like they are talking to a girl.I suppose that's just a nice way of saying i talk like a horny slut. Recently, even a guy whom i just started talkin to on msn says he thinks im a horny girl. He sounded like he was just joking and trying to irritate me la.But maybe not.Oh man...am i suppose to try clear my name or just accept myself for who i am? hai...
