Monday, May 22, 2006 ; 1:42 PMY
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I have totally no more motivation to do anything. I tried. Reading, borrowing some violin scores from espanade library so i could play them, going to friendster, blogging...what am i doing? Since i woke up i have been reading Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". Its a good book really but it doesnt demand much concentration in reading it and thus leaving me with plenty of brainspace to think about other stuff- the past, memories, and a monotonous life ahead of me..Gosh. What's there for me now? 2 more months. It seems so long. At least when i was counting down to his return i had something to anticipate. Now? Nothing.
And even when school starts again, it won't be any much different. Attend lessons, come home, then practise violin, then maybe do some work..and the next day i will repeat the cycle..again n again n again...nothing to look forward to, nothing much to do, no idea how to spend my time and who i can spend it with, no idea when is the next time i can start laughing and smiling again.
I feel so ignored. Yet another person is ignoring me now. So cut off from everyone. Even when i ask someone out, i feel as if im forcing them to spend time with me. Im like taking advantage of their sympathy for me as a recently-dumped girl to make them sacrifice their time. But anyhow, sorry to all those i've "made used" of. And thanks for your time.
