Wednesday, April 12, 2006 ; 2:41 PMY
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I dreamt of him again last night. Unlike in previous dreams where i would dream that we are still together, this time i dreamt that we broke up le..but he saw me and walked towards me...then he kissed me and said "tonight go your house stayover k?" He was using the same tone he always uses when he tells me he's gonna hug me to sleep...in my dream, i said nothing but i just looked at him with tears in my eyes...then i woke up....
I know its stupid la..but im very sure that if i didnt wake up at that point, i would have said yes to him staying over.. Infact, even if right now he calls suddenly and asks if he could stay over,i think i would surely say yes..
Im dumb beyond hope right? Yup..i also know that...but after the dream i felt so empty and rejected...i would do anyth just to make myself feel better...
Supposed to teach later but i called to cancel...im really really not in the mood to teach today...i hope i can stop dreaming about him..but how?
Really feel like calling him now and just hear his voice but i know it would only make me feel worse...supposed to start on the history presentation for tmr and practise violin but i just feel like devoting the whole of today just missing him and wallowing in memories of us...
Violin exam is this coming monday and im not prepared yet..but im not even the least worried about it...my entire mind now is thinkin about nothing but him...
Im fighting the urge to call him now...
Im so tired...yet i dare not sleep coz im afraid i would dream of him..what should i do?
